Why is it so hard to stay married these days?  That is a question that I had a student ask me recently.  There are certainly a lot of answers to that and even a lot of other questions like, why are there fewer marriages these days?  My wife and I have been married, on August 3rd of this year, for 30 years.  We have built a beautiful life together.  However, it isn’t always beautiful.  Marriage takes a lot of work.  I want to offer a few thoughts on staying married in difficult times.

This year has been a lot: from racial injustice, to global pandemics, to divisive elections and, if  I’m being honest, I think we skipped over killer bees too fast. We have been stuck at home with our spouses, been in too many zoom meetings to count, prayed to God to pull a loaves and fishes miracle out of the one roll of toilet paper we had left, and slowly spiraled into the world of TikTok. Well, maybe that last one is just me…

​We all know the world of dating is complicated. In fact, I bet you can almost immediately think of an example of messy relationships either in your own life or someone close to you. Why is something so important and so coveted in our society so difficult? We watch movies where the guy gets the girl and the movie ends, no mention of the effort it takes to make it work with the girl.

We've heard the Beatles say it, "All you need is love", but is that really true? According to our overwhelming 50% (39%, 2020. Or maybe try almost 50%) divorce rate, maybe we need a little more than love. Every couple walks down the aisle on their wedding day sure that they will make it, that they are different, that their love is real. So, what goes wrong? How do we go from happy and in love, to hopeless and alone?

Last month we explored loneliness and its dramatic rise globally in all age groups. In a society that's more connected than ever before, how can that be? Social media, the internet, and mobile phones have provided more access to people and information than any other time in history.

A study published by Psychology Today talks about the loneliness epidemic in America. The study revealed that of the individuals that reported being lonely, more than half of them were married! So how do we combat loneliness and bond with our spouses?

The honeymoon phase of marriage is an extraordinary time of marital bliss when the only thing you can focus on is your partner and the only thing you want to do is spend time together. But what happens when the honeymoon phase starts to fade?